It’s nice to know that they’re prepared to wipe this shit out.

She hasn’t announced that she’s withdrawing. Maybe she just forgot. Like everyone did about her.

(reads headline)
Because people suck.
(reads article)
No revision necessary.

Here’s something Bloomberg should be spending his money on.

You obviously don’t watch the Late Show. That’s a homage to how Stephen introduces people during his monologue.

Did you see the Nevada debate? It’s obviously EW who’s bringing the heat.

This is an excellent idea for the next debate. Before you can answer a question, you have to eat the next wing. And not just a nibble, but clean bones.

That’s my plan.

On the other side it said, (“KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?”)

How hard is it to DIY?

Who starts a negotiation with a compromise?

The U.S. population is 60 times the size of Finland’s (330M vs. 5.5M).

Where do you live that still has a working drive-in?

The hoardes dying of COVID-19 looked up and cried, “Save us!”

Do you want to get people fired from the Department of Redundancy Department? DO YOU?!

What is this and how can I get one?

Every car I’ve ever driven has had a driver, not a pilot.