If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you? Please?

I saw one where he was using KKKalvin Klein, but damn, I can’t find it now.

You shouldn’t bottle your feelings like that. Let them out!

Only the good die young.

expect lots of even more bizarre tweets

Two words: Alabama.

Now, see, I figured she wanted to fold it until it was all sharp corners then shove it up tRump’s ass.

I thought if you use Coke it’s a Shirley Temple Black.

+1 Yorrick

Surely there must be an Insta-Pot setting for Hot Pockets by now...

What is this excess garlic of which you speak?

Careful. If you stick your tongue any further in your cheek, you may pop a hole in it.

Tents in DC in the wintertime. I LOVE IT!

“I think Alan Swann is beneath us!”
“Of course he’s beneath us; he’s an actor.”

HEEEEZZZBOOOLLAAAHHH!

And.... now I’m depressed.