I want to be a billionaire so freakin’ bad.

Also, that Asshole Tax applies only to The Holy Hand Grenade. You or I are free to call Schultz an egotistical fuckface all we want, unless, of course, he pays the Asshole Tax to each of us as well.

The text of the resolution is still available on NPR.

I can understand the right’s condemnation, though. It is after Labor Day.

I do the same thing with Kirkland salsa.

She should have scheduled the SOTU for Feb. 19, after the CR runs out, so if tre45on tried another shutdown, she could say again, “no government, no speech.”

JO-SHU-A!
JO-SHU-A!
JO-SHU-A!
JO-SHU-A!

You’re funny. But looks aren’t everything.

Is it bad that that gif is turning me on?

Manchurian Cantaloupe

It’s a real shame, too. I’ve been trying to round out my recovered slug collection. I’ve been getting shot with nothing but 9mm after 9mm lately. Doesn’t anybody use .38's or .357's anymore? Kids these days!

Damnit, I wish Kinja would let me star things again...

Nobody put’s baby’s in a corner’s.

Totally worth it!

Yeah, open up your heart!

Doesn’t everybody?

Two words: angle grinder.

The real walkers are the friends they killed along the way.

You know what they say: American beer is like making love in a canoe.

Yes. We have sex, you don’t.