When I got shot & stabbed, they wiped my shoulder and applied a tiny round band-aid first, then stuck me through it. If I bled any, I never knew it.

I can’t imagine a turtle being kicked up by a car without cracking it’s shell. It was probably dropped by a bird of prey. That’s how they get to the tasty insides.

Then you’d feel pretty bad when the SWAT team breaks down your neighbor’s door and murders Granny in her bed.

“Going to be harassed?” That ship has already sailed if they’re planting trackers on you.

Hopefully, they’ll catch him red-handed.

“Could you sweep under my desk?”

[citation needed]

It was Betty White, wasn’t it?

This was a SWATing. Random white dude called the cops on some people who did nothing to him, and lied to hopefully get them murdered in cold blood on his behalf.

My ex recently lost her husband to a grouper. He was spearfishing in the Sea of Cortez and tagged one about that size. His harpoon must have gotten tangled or something, because he was dragged out to sea and never found.

Because real people never joke, right?

Is this what readers need to hear about what the Vice President is up to? But what about her shoes? What did she do for her kid’s birthday? What brand of laundry detergent does she use?

The Biden administration sounds like it might get serious about rooting out white supremacists in police departments. I wish them luck in that. It’s would be a good start for a long process.

I thought Claudia was seeking emancipation. Whatever became of that?

Just recently an Enigma machine was found that had been thrown overboard.

Until fairly recently, all bridges into Switzerland were required by law to be pre-mined, so they could be blown in case Soviet tanks threatened to invade. The last demolition charges were only removed in 2014.

A baseball shouldn’t have done it. Tesla windows are bulletproof, or so I hear.

Dude needs to lose some sponsorships and maybe get banned from competition. I wouldn’t want his name attached to anything I was involved in.

Loot, pillage, and then burn! Get it right, guys!

Yes, we are talking about a video game character. As most people are aware, they have neither blood nor a central nervous system. Therefore, you could chop his head off entirely, and he wouldn’t die unless he were programed to. While it may be possible for a live person to live through a grievous head wound, it’s…