Welcome. To Nightvale.

whichever has the bigger heart... was that their answer?

I heard a similar argument this scientist is attempting to make but instead used the shoulder to hip width difference to imply it was a *balance* issue. I.e. it’s hard for an triangle to balance on it’s tip.

Womanspreading.

On second thought, let’s not go to Rhode Island. ’Tis a silly place.

You are the hero we need now.

It’s a simple explanation. You take string theory and you mix that with a healthy knowledge of thermodynamics. Now take out any equations involving electromagnetic field theory because they’ll just confuse you and you’ll add that back in later anyway. Carry the 4. Add in the speed of light but minus pi and multiply…

I’m so glad you said that, I just texted my wife to suggest going for a steak for dinner

Perhaps she was distracted by her pet. I hear she keeps a crow named Jim.

Performance artists will wear amoebas on their heads and do an interpretive dance to represent the mitosis of their relationship; splitting off in two different directions, yet both equal.

It will be beautiful.

This was totally like my wedding, only we were inspired by CarTalk. Our performance artists wore vintage muscle car transmissions on their heads and in retrospect the whole thing would have been far less tragic had we not insisted that they get in the pool.

“The bride and groom unintentionally posed in front of a garbage dumpster, foreshadowing the first few years of their marriage.”

A+++ would run around in those pretending to be Baba Yaga’s cottage.

Still no mention of my mum and the cheesecake, so I’m just going to post it here.

Nah it goes down to -11.