You drove through West Texas once and wanted to do it again?

Clearly, you need to go off more sweet jumps.

for some perspective on the size...

Those guys that egged your car probably read your article about manual transmissions not being great and so they went back in time to fuck your shit up

Yeah, he should definitely spring for the platinum plus wash.

...Functioning normally.

that’s pretty much me after eating taco bell

At first I thought this was a street cleaning machine in Rio.

...click

NP!

If this was Jezebel, the title would’ve been “Entitled White Male Harasses Chinese Woman Online, Gets What He Deserves.”

CLEARLY homeboy never saw the Terminal

Keanu knows that feel, bro.

I can meme at 2000 doge per minute.

I nominate $kaycog.

When [Modest Mouse lead singer Isaac] Brock left the scene he backed into a cop car, but he just drove off. Sometimes life is okay.

I hope no one’s fair trade organic hemp milk half-caff macchiato was spilled in the accident.

Foxtrot Alpha, dickface.