I would rather rub broken stained glass in my eyes so the last thing i saw a horrible rainbow of agony than watch 30 seconds of this idiot’s grimdark horseshit.

I think i’ll take being fat over a tumor.

It sucks because like... I kicked a 15 year pack and a half a day smoking habit in a month and the soda’s going to be the impossible thing? 

So what you’re telling me, they’re not bumps, or cysts, but actually pimples or boils? :x

I bought a 34 dollar hydroflask that was great.... until i regretted not buying the straw cap, like an idiot. For some reason (i’m guessing carbonation) seltzers and sparkling water sort of have a salty-ish bite to them which i kinda hate. unfortunately i’m still drinking soda at unacceptable quantities and i have to…

At this point, I’m thinking that people are just looking for something to do. brownies and lemonade, even in the car is an event

....damn it.

I mean, Anti-maskers. They’re violent and stupid. There are other varieties of idiot too.

I hear the term ‘bell-hops’ for their employees and it just makes me never want to eat there again.

Here is the takeaway.

Breathe, hon.

Yeah, because you’re going into my profile to try and make a point against me.

Glad you know how to creep on women.

I’d imagine that your hacky quips you’ve gotten from every dumb b-movie have gotten you so much further.

shut up.

Don’t forget all the unlicensed music they’re going to play that artists continually sue over

I know this was purposefully supposed to be confusing but jesus christ, try and give me an anurism why don’t you

First disappointment? Hard to say.

one of the few (few) perks of driving lyft is that I can throw on a sundress and get a tan from inside the car on my shoulders. and feel okay doing it.