Yoko Ono gives literally millions of dollars a year to charities from her Beatles money. She’s known to be one of the most generous non corporate philanthropists in the US...

I wish I had worn MORE crazy, tacky stuff when I was in my early 20’s instead of rushing headlong into impeccable elegance the first second I could carry it off. She’s young, she’s got a sickening body and it looks like she’s having a hoot, so I say good for her. She’s got the rest of her life to do elegant and…

I thought that the point of the Teen Choice Awards was that teens did the choosing, not that the choices were themselves teens.

i’m currently in ghana / born in the ivory coast / chadian national / lived in tunisia and madagascar and the us. it seems like you’re going to be in quite the safe city. africa can be as safe and as dangerous as anywhere else in the world, so:

Please stop hating on all of Texas. It’s a huge state with more people in it than fucking Australia. Not every person is a fuckwad from East Texas.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close made me wish that there was an ebook version of throwing a book against a wall.

But I was already farting with abandon.

Speaking of wine . . .

i really wish regretsy was still active

We then spent the next several minutes replacing the hold slips and coming up with activities that would kill or maim a child if adults just wandered around going “But he wants to...”

Well you guys have really shown me the error of my ways and i hope god will forgive me for mislabeling my fruit body type, but i figured it out and i think i’m actually more like an edible arrangement than anything else

Let’s talk about the creep who rummaged through Britney’s trash and the other creep who paid 60 bucks for it.

Neither, apparently.

Why on earth make it ruinous to break the law, why! Why. I'm stomping and everything.

I agree! High school and college were no problem because there were built-in friend networks ready to go. But now, my co-workers all have their own lives already and there aren’t many single people in my small town. Grown-up friending is hard.

Actually, pathological lying is caused by a chemical imbalance in the womb. Recent studies have shown a link between excessive consumption of caramel food coloring during pregnancy, and a predisposition to compulsive lying in children. Mothers exposed to the motion of helicopter blades in the first trimester are also…

I hope she signs her name Bree Newsome, Goddamn American Hero.

Can we also talk about that smile in the pictures? It’s everything I tell you!

The real revelation here is that your Kinja name wasn’t already taken.