On the other hand, you used to be able to literally buy submachine guns from a catalog and have them mailed directly to your door, no background check needed, and nobody was mowing down schools in the 40 or so years that was a thing, so maybe the accessibility of guns isn’t the only issue we should be looking at.

Canada has safety inspections that take a lot of cars like this off the road. Come to Michigan if you want to see the real rolling rust buckets.

Last time I was on OK Cupid there was a local profile for a physically beautiful woman but the text boiled down to “ You need to have a career with room for advancement, not just a job and also have a well-used passport. Also [insert list of about 15 hard nos including video games, most TV and sleeping in]. Ugh. It’s…

It doesn’t sound real.

“I am very socially progressive and I won’t even try to get along with conservatives” is probably a good way to get across that you’re not going to be nice to anyone’s racist uncle or whatever. You can, uh, leave out the part where you expect people to cut family members out of their lives, because that makes it sound…

I have double my salary in student loan debt, does that count?

Let’s consider Mary: who begins working at 25 years old, earns $60,000/year to start [and] gets a 2% raise every year.

That “#BRRRT” is presumably the hashtag version of the sound made by an A-10 Warthog strafing Taliban militants.

Counter-point: Under Siege.

“The shitters are getting bolder” is a phrase I never thought would pass through my mind, yet here we are.

Fortunately his paper thin muscles and rubbery, calcium deficient bones came through unscathed. Don’t listen to your parents: all that time spent playing video games and living on a Doritos diet will eventually pay off.

He would lock everyone in the store and not allow anyone to leave until the store was 100% cleaned up. We already had to get ‘signed off’ in our areas before we could leave but now we were being held captive.

Sounds like every retail job, ever. Not that that makes it right, but you could replace Home Depot with Target and it would be exactly the same.

I’ll try to say this succinctly and elegantly:

It’s not smart to tussle with the police.

Two words that describe why I don’t ride fair rides: pin slop.

These rides make me vomit. I see no reason to go on them for artificial fear. I’m a firefighter. I tell people I’m too cowardly to go on these rides, and I usually get a pass (see also: firefighter). I further tell them that if the coaster gets stuck up-side-down at the top of the loop, I’m willing to climb up, rope…

the customer turns a knob at the bottom of the can, releasing CO2 that cools the coffee

At least some rebel scum didn’t fire a proton torpedo into the garbage shoot and blow up the store.

Lots of people who love capitalism also love slavery. They go hand in hand.
Like seriously, when and where has unregulated and unfettered corporate capitalism ever not tried to turn their work force into slaves, or tried to work them to death.