I am also deeply skeptical of the health benefits of deep fried anything (fish included).

I think fish on Friday is such an ingrained habit for some older Catholics that its just now a matter of culture, even if it no longer has a religious proscription. And there are some who never changed their habits after Vatican II, although that generation is fast dying off.

As a four-time mental illness winner, whose life has fallen apart countless times, I can honestly say: who fucking cares?

early sunday morning is great while the church people are locked away

My wife and I have a harmless argument about grocery shopping lists. I write things on the list as I think of them and she makes her lists geographically accurate to where those things are in the store. Of course her method is better I am just too lazy. 

The single best day of the year is the first of November. That’s when candy corn goes on sale for like twenty five cents a bag.

I saw an article today that touted how the federal deficit has been cut in half in the last year. IN HALF!!! How is this not in 1500 pt font on the front page of every news outlet? How is it not huge news across the entire country? Oh, because it occurred during a Democratic administration, so it just gets ignored by…

You don’t have to feel sympathy for her. Having people, doesn’t matter who, telling their stories like this is something that unfortunately needs to keep happening from now until election day because the American public has the attention span of a two-year-old, apparently.

Ugh I know this is a bit but, like, it’s not a good bit.

How many of these dudes does he have to hang out to dry before they learn?

Snakes serve purposes. Perhaps a rather floaty turd that refuses to flush and circles the drain.

Likewise, who hasn’t wanted to throw Seth Green in a trash can?

I mean...and here’s the thing, though: neither Adam Sandler nor Chris Farley were (or are, in Sandler’s case) particularly funny.

Oof, who could have predicted Donald Trump might be a disloyal ally?

I welcome any and everyone to join me in No Turkey Thanksgiving (also known as slow cooker Thanksgiving). My mom and I decided last year that we were done making turkeys and being in the kitchen all day. We committed to low-stress, slow cooker Thanksgiving. We ended up with beef bourguignon, mashed potatoes, and…

Wheat Chex is the best Chex. I’ll eat it right out of the box as a snack.

I actually like grape nuts even if it is the consistency of road gravel.

Please please please don’t make these slide shows. A one page article would work much better than these slide shows.

“A magical stone isn’t the only “I can’t believe grown-adults take this nonsense seriously” ...”

Nobody has ever been poisoned by candy or an apple or whatever by accident. The only known Halloween candy tampering happened with a relative. Certainly it’s your prerogative to toss things that look sketchy, but poison/needles/razorblade by trick-or-treat is not a thing.