The press needs to stop calling this a beating or an attack. It's attempted murder and sexual assault. The woman was forced to watch her friend get beaten, then she got beaten, stabbed, sexually assaulted, threatened with further rape, tortured, and the only reason she's alive is because he decided to go look for a…

Gagrgle bargle toeghdn uasdfj!!!!!11!!!

I read Jezebel + Gawker almost daily, and I had no idea this was going on - so 1) you guys are obviously doing a good job of timely, aggressive purging, and 2) I am so grateful for that.

OF COURSE YOU CAN'T CHANGE A FUCKING DIAPER IN THE MIDDLE OF A RESTAURANT.

When I worked at an animal shelter, we had people bring a cat in. A guy came in, spotted the cat and about shit - it was his girlfriend's cat. She had gone to college and her dick parents, who had said they would care for the cat in her absence, had told her the cat had been eaten by a coyote - they said there was no…

you know, her photo is clearly available on the internet, why not just post it instead of some stock image of a white girl possibly sniffing glue?

and instead of a picture of Trisha, let's use a stock photo of a white girl...using a glue stick....

there is a mechanic in my hometown that is absolutely amazing. he listens when i tell him what's wrong, he details exactly what's wrong with my car, asks if i need clarification without sounding condescending and always answers any questions i have. he offers options and advice depending on how much money i can spend…

My Dad grew up dirt poor and is a vicious negotiator. A few years back, through extensive research and rebates and this and that he got a very sweet deal on a very popular car - a fully loaded Honda Accord, which usually sells itself.

My all time favorite example of this was an acquaintance's mother who as VP was charged with buying a new fleet of vehicles for the company. She did some research, went to the dealership, did test drives and talked specks, and finally settled on a car, but before she could explained that she wanted a dozen of them,…

I'm insanely envious of everyone's life. Everyone seems to have good shit going like buying houses, getting married, getting new dogs, going on great vacations and generally being happy. My husband and I are really struggling despite me being in a good job and not living beyond our means.

That's how I want to go. I want a life long friend with me, getting stoned and having a pint. When my mum was dying, I sat her down and rolled her last joint for her. We spent the day laughing our arses off and eating pumpkin scones. She passed on the next day and while I miss her so much I can't help but have my…

I would lounge all over that. In a caftan. With some wine! AND BLACKJACK! AND HOOKERS!

Woody Allen proclivities and perversities aside, I would make out with Colin Firth so hard. And Emma Stone too. That might be because I'm a little high AND on my second margarita, but I don't think so. I...don't...think...so...

I had to get an X-ray on Monday and the nurse made me pee in a cup. He came back and was like "good news you're not pregnant!" I was like dude I haven't gotten laid in a year I could've told You that. He said and I quote "aww."

Just read the affidavit in support of the criminal complaint and answered my own questions:

His lawyer used the words "pseudo-tribal psychological voodoo" in an attempt to explain what happened? Done with this world.

My mom once got high with John Belushi, Chevy Chase and Dan Akroyd at her house. Then they ate pizza. Also one time Cat Stevens called her a cunt.