Celiac disease? You can't be a Celia Cruz fan and a Catholic?

No treason. No treason. You're the treason!

Hates this shit, loves the easy upvotes.

The Trump Presidency

I'm pretty sure we've seen 444 newswires about Jay-Z in the last few weeks.

You are trying to set up a Sarah Jessica Parker joke, aren't you?

You are next, Ampersand!

“This running form is also called, ‘get me the fuck outta here because there’s a genetically modified 50 TON BEAST that’s trying to eat me and all I wanted to do is just want to go home and have tequila and waffles’”

Somebody needs to get to the BTTM of this.

TV networks trying to trick Nielsen? Surely you can't be serious.

Still more uplifting than Fuller House.

*goes on a victory lap, gets tackled by boss*

Dammit. Is it too much to ask to let me have an easy win for a change?

Game, Blouses.

Drago: "I killed your father!"
Donnie: "Drago fuck yourself!"

Missed out on the Cirque 'l jerk.

Good for Patton. He deserves to be happy.

Dammit. As usual, I'm five minutes too late to make the joke.

That cover art could best be described as "Ancient Aliens' Giorgio Tsoukalos fucking Led Zeppelin's Houses of the Holy."

Ah, I see now. Apologies, I misread your comment.