Well, people do need glue. 

“The problem began with a small, little bone, and now he’s the preident.”

When you are cheating, are you having your data stolen, or are you just offering up your data to a shady person?

You sir, are a blasphemist. 

What the fuck? You don’t rub it with the collection device. 

You just blew my mind. Who asks to eat something that you are eating while paying zero attention to what you are actually eating? Is he dating a toddler?

Jack it at the computer and sprint to the bathroom when you’re about to season the chicken? What the fuck is wrong with you?

When you are stuffing your “jack socks” in your nightstand drawer, you aren’t washing them. 

That’s what tissues are for. Clean people don’t jack off in socks and stuff them in a drawer next to their bed.

Why not put Bo Jackson on the list then, I mean, Bo knows baseball. 

A guy you can’t draw a picture of can’t be that famous. 

Sean’s kid is fucked. He lives in Philadelphia and his parents are terrible at picking teams for fandom.

Easy solution, shirts vs skins. 

Well, the good news is he only has to wait 21 years to be president. 

This is a 7-9-1 team that had a starting qb that threw 2 interceptions. Both of the ints were thrown off Jimmy Graham’s hands. Without Rodgers, this team might not win a game. 

Is every case of gun violence due to the gun? Not really. There is something that causes the person to get the gun, there is something that makes them capable of doing things the average person would never think of doing. If I beat someone to death with a stick, is it the stick’s fault, or am I a deranged person who…

“We often refer to the “gaming community” as a singular body, even if that’s not particularly true—video games and the people who play them are too large and diverse to be characterized in any one way.”

I started coming to deadspin for Magary’s Fun Bag. I stayed for the popcorn and the comments section. 

Fuck that priest. Your dad did the right thing. They should have given him a Bugotti for Christmas that year. 

The Dead are a band that you love, or you hate. Nobody “kind of likes” The Greatful Dead. If they say, “yea, they’re ok”, they are lying and don’t really like their music.