True but I still love the fact that Sarah Silverman is never not dressed like a casual stoner/me.

OMG I'M SO PROUD OF MY TWITTER STALKING ABILTIES

Hi Robby! Thanks for stopping by! One small correction: I don't think you've ever "reported" a goddamn thing in your life. (And because I know you're going to do this, either here or in my Twitter mentions, which you and your friends are currently stink-clouding up with your Feelings, I have a master's degree in…

I don't believe that Chicago exists. I have never been there; no one I know has ever been there (except for my friend Jackie who changed planes at O'Hare, but she said it was real snowy so it could have been a different airport covered in white paint); "Chicago" is a funny word and "City of Broad Shoulders" rings real…

/drops mic

First reaction: Omg wtf how could you even -

Since my tale of how I flew to Canada to get laid failed to even get me out of the greys last week, I'm going to tell you EXACTLY how my Canadian beau broke up with me when I got there. It's pretty raunchy and I apologize in advance.

..still more successful than me dating at 23.

They do know each other.

I love that this is your takeaway from that post

I once had a torrid, three-year relationship with a guy that was seriously hotter than Brad Pitt at peak Legends of the Fall. I am not kidding. The sex was frequent, lengthy, and phenomenal.

Usually the only things projected on my desserts are my body image issues so this is definitely a step in the right direction.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that those 14 yr olds are black or Hispanic.

okay, clearly im a nutter......BUT, i LIKE this !!!!

@KatCallahan, @stopbeingterribleandillstopbeingmean: I just want to say how happy it makes me when this type of conversation actually goes where it's supposed to and everybody ends up understanding each other and the situation a little better. It seems like a complete fucking miracle every time.

I didn't (and don't) get tattoos to individuate myself. I get tattoos to reclaim a body that's been shit on for most of my life (not literally. Not down with the poo play but to each their own) through fat shaming, sexual harassment, and rape. I get tattoos because they help me to love my body rather than hate it,…

Yes, because all people with tattoos get the based only on how others will perceive them and not for any personal reason what so ever.

I am positive that that racist dude jerks off to interracial porn, a lot. 78 percent chance he does so while weeping.

"Why are women so afraid to say "no" and instead lie to get out of a situation as quickly as possible?"

Er, did you see what happened when they actually said no?