Oh fuck you Connecticut

“Discount Wahlbergs” is spectacular.

Never Forget:

They do realize that she wasn’t jailed for living out her Christian faith, right?

Whenever someone brings up the arm-flab dilemma, I put my arms up like a body builder, and tell them “whenever I feel bad about my arms, I remember what I named them. Paul.” Kiss the right arm “McCartney” kiss the left arm, “WINGS!” shake both arms furiously.

It makes people laugh so now I know they’re thinking about…

Soon they’ll have a binder full of black people.

oh no, he called it out. Like the whole piece was “hey youse guyse writing TAL to complain about the vocal fry of our female hosts and contributors: I, Ira Glass, your lord and king, regularly use it, so you’re obviously a bunch of sexist fucks.” It was pretty great.

Senator Whitehouse is on to something. Republicans oppose the Affordable Care Act, but when asked what they would replace it with the answer is \_(ツ)_/. The GOP says the VA is broken, their plan to fix it is \_(ツ)_/. Some Republicans are running to all available media to say that the Iran deal is horrible, and instead…

the first thing I did when I got Twitter was tweet Nick Frost and ask him if he and Simon Pegg were best friends in real life. He DM’d me and said they were the bestest.

<3_<3 I know that'll be the closest I'll ever get to either of them

I met Common & Kanye at a bar once. Common is pretty quiet and aloof, even though he was quite polite. Kanye though. Dude’s a total goofball. He made me and my date (who was the sister of Kanye’s secretary or whoever) laugh super hard and he cooed at my baby niece’s pictures. (Yes, I showed them to him. Kill me). He…

Jill Biden tweeted that Joe Biden is running around the office with a gay pride flag worn as a cape. I so want pictures of that

I think we’re all waiting, crouching like gay lionesses, for the first homophobic gazelle to trot across the sacred grounds.

Sadly, no. I fear, my dear, that she is sincere.

Pharrell needs to get back with Chad Hugo and Shae Haley asap. Forget this solo stuff.

That’s great, but then why doesn’t everyone adopt a child? Why is it the specific responsibility of couples going through infertility to do so? As someone who has worked in the system, you know more than most people how challenging it can be.

Rachel just added a new skill: Master of Disguise! Endorse her for this new skill and say congrats on the new job!

This is awesome. It must have been so fun to talk to Gordon! I think it’s amazing that she didn’t know that Mary Shelley was Mary Wollstonecraft’s daughter but then got so interested in it that she wrote a book. I have always found both Wollstonecraft and Shelley to be interesting figures, and for Shelley to have…