Damn girl. And I used to think I had the coolest broken ankles story from when I drunk danced backwards off a 5 foot speaker on stage at a Ramones concert.

No illusion. My knees do that too. It was a great asset when I was a professional ballroom dancer, it’s prized styling in a lot of dances. But it kills your back as you get older.

Oh my lord! Scary. And acorns, wtf.

That was very funny.

Hey, I have the same Intex pool. Mine didn’t come with the accompanying bear accessory. I feel incredibly cheated!

since in their wedding photo she’s blonder than blonde, surrounded by her very white family.

Beer is one of the leading causes of pregnancy in New Hampshire. The label is just a public service announcement like the warnings on cigarettes. The state should be all for it.

Congratulations!! You win the internet today!

Does anyone know if her husband is black and if they have any children? I haven’t seen any info on this. That would make a big difference re her referring to her family as black.

I’m almost to the point of wanting them all segregated on one side of town so they can hurt each other and leave the innocent people alone.

How many children are entrusted into the care of those on your FB feed?

On a more relatable level, we’ve all seen Facebook posts or tweets that we wish we hadn’t. Couples who detail every step of a pregnancy despite the fact that if something were to go wrong, those posts would be devastating and incredibly uncomfortable.

I’d burn them a DVD of this and check the sous vide as fulfilled on their registry.

He thought it was shit when it happened. Wait until his parents whip out that video and show it to his girlfriends in about 13 years.

Ahhh, NO.

Bacon planet, with procsciutto moons.

That is creative though. I have to admit it’s something I would never have come up with.

Billy Bob really redeemed himself with Fargo. He can come over anytime now.

As if any wardrobe would be involved.

I agree with you on John Mayer, but I’d definitely do Katy Perry.