As our supply of equal opportunity nudity grows I think we may need to differentiate between 'gay fan-service' and general 'female fan service,' and to find a way to serve the second category better in a R-rated (or higher) format on TV that uses nudity as a supplement. I'm open to suggestions for what that could…

I hope I live long enough to see that name die and be taken down in every place it flourishes today.

My brother, inured to the ancien world where very Jewish comic book writers produced very Christian superheros, didn't understand why it was a big deal when I told him that that guy was Jewish but I always thought it was super cool.

Can't we just agree to never speak of it again, under penalty of torture?

*Smokes jazz cigarette mysteriously*

You going to do this every goddamn day, internet?

I mean, do you want to live on this planet anymore? Cause I sure don't. Might not be a bad time to find out Oz is real.

Oh, sure, when they vivisect dogs, it's "for science," but when I vivisect dogs, I'm "creepy and weird."

“And no one will ever mention it again, under penalty of torture.”

Soviet Union? I thought you guys broke up.
Nyet! That's what we wanted you to think!

In Trump's America, weather channel googles you!

You're not improving Geology or Christianity by putting them together, you're just making both of them worse.

Paved paradise and put up a parking lot.

0/13, twitter. Your highest score ever.

Senseless.

Common misconception. Gov. Nagini is actually his snake.

Well, damn, there go my Saturday night plans.

They're trying to fucking sell ice cubes to Eskimos here.

I really can't believe some of these straws that keep breaking camel's backs in Washington these days. Musk, like most of the startup economy, is dangerously overstretched- I wonder if he thought he could get an in at the Trump corruption slough? Whatever pleasant vision of that that half of corporate America seems to…

Smithers, have Captain America killed.