Great recap, and I totally echo the “how is Matt still here” sentiment. Over the past two nights, every time Matt got the rose I blurted out “who the fuck is Matt??” because I had legit forgotten.

While my haters are talking about my curly bangs online, I’m relaxing on a beach in Hawaii

This one little sentence is exactly when I fell in love with Dean. Of course they knew what he meant and he forcefully put a stop to their nonsense.

YES YES YES.

A person should always be suspicious of a man who says Gone with the Wind is one of his favorite movies.

Okay Peter’s date was FANTASTIC and their discussion of their gap teeth warmed my cold, dead heart to no end. It was so GENUINE!

Hot Taek: The original Dirty Dancing was garbage too.

Maybe they should have gotten an actual dancer to play Baby.

not true, babe! lana is a genius.

The second part of that lemonade stand story In The New Yorker is kind of revealing, too, but in a different way:

WAHHHHHHHHH dating is hard and why am I so bad at it and what secrets do the wonderful women of Jezebel have to bestow upon me and when will I stop putting my foot and my mouth and aboohoohoohoo. Feel bad for me, the straight white male living in New York who is chronically single!

“That’s cool, I wouldn’t even want to visit where you live” - chocolatesystems, rude New Yorker

Corollary: the people who tell me “I like to visit NYC, but I wouldn’t want to live there” are super fucking annoying. I just tell them “we don’t want you to live here either, so that works.”

Imagine if this had been mentioned several times in the article you skimmed. Just imagine!

it reminds me of how in middle school history class we had to write what I can only describe as Great Depression Sob Stories. Most people's stories were like "Paw lost his job" and "the harvest failed again" or whatever. This one guy though, who I am pretty sure ended up getting sent to military school a few years…

Hmm...maybe you're having a hard time finding examples of healthy, well-balanced incestuous relationships because they don't exist? Or if on the rare chance they do exist, they have the good sense to keep that particular family skeleton in the goddamn closet?

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF BACKWARDS ASS BACKWOODS THE HILL HAVE EYES TYPE SHIT ARE THESE PEOPLE RUNNING?!?!

Oh for fuck's sake. THIS is the exact type of comment people are talking about when they talk shit about Jezebel commenters.

This is NOT ok.