Don’t give him ideas, he might enlist a photoshop expert to “prove” it.

I believe him exponentially more than Trump.

The Lamborghini Murcielago comes to mind, as well—Spanish for “bat,” for those keeping score.

I cannot possibly do better than the response above.

I’m sorry, I’ve been blowing up your notifications with stars. All I can say is thank you for the doggedness you’ve displayed by not being worn down debating this issue. I realize I’m likely preaching to the choir, but I appreciate your numerous rebuttals, and the mention that “innocent until proven guilty” only…

Who are these “special friends” of Jalopnik? That might put me over the top on deciding to do the road trip.

I’m looking at almost four hours each way from where I am. Tempting, but I’m not sure about it.

I love your comment, but let’s be honest here: Sessions has way more racism than perjury in play. I mean, he perjured the shit out of himself about the Russians, but he is basically made of racism.

Giggity.

What would be igniting the fuel on the way out of the windshield nozzles? You know what, I almost don’t want to know.

My brother had this happen to him when a gas station had the wrong underground tank filled with diesel. He was one of about a dozen people who had an issue there on the same day, and the shop where he took his car shortly after took forever to fully rectify the damage it did to his fuel system. I felt terrible for…

I mean, I get what you’re saying, but I still laugh maniacally when “Boaty McBoatface” or its equivalent wins online naming polls because the admins can’t be bothered to learn that immature side of the internet (looking at you, 4chan) is often the most determined.

Well, that’s because you wrote lemon fanfics, right?

Mr. Feeny would certainly sound nonplussed, and despite his drunken state, I’m sure the Hoff would slap her if he heard your daughter say that.

I’m totally down with real-life Crazy Taxi. I will tip heavily.

I liked Lea Thompson’s appearance on the show, and Ryan Stiles summary of Back to the Future, even though he’d never seen the movie.

I knew I’d seen that panda somewhere before:

You have my unending adoration for this share.

“That’s right! Can’t kill me, motherfuckers!” As far as I’m concerned, this was the film that established Samuel L. Jackson’s persona. Well, this, and Pulp Fiction.

I mean, Bruce Willis already let that franchise die with A Good Day to Die Hard, and Charlize Theron and other actresses have already proven that women can do bad-ass action films as well as men (Atomic Blonde and Mad Max: Fury Road, for example), so I’m all for this.