I’ve never had a giraffe cut me off in traffic or steal my Xbox Live login and buy a bunch of shitty games. So yeah, yay giraffes and fuck people.

Legit boxer, yes. Buzz saw? Hardly.

Because Democratic voters are clustered together into tighter geographic areas and a smaller number of states?

Superior kinja at work here.

The rise of the “dirtbag left” just means that that now the fucking left has its very own Tea Party.

I hope this works out for Everton, but I’m not sure that Keane and Rooney are going to offset the loss of 20+ goals per season.

DJ... not so much.

A lot of people find reading on a tablet harder on their eyes than reading from an e-reader. And e-reader battery life is considerably better than a tablet.

Exactly. This is why Mad Catz exists. (Or used to exist, anyway.)

How did you keep those flimsy plastic Atari joysticks from breaking? My brother and I went through half a dozen of those things!

I assume your modest proposal includes paying food service workers at least a livable minimum wage, right?

How can such a tender and delicate flower as yourself possibly bear to live in such a world?

Yeah, I stopped reading when he said “false flag.”

Found the Australian!

Or Ronda Rousey was the Tyson of women’s MMA?

Look, there’s a reason why McGregor has to fight Mayweathers type of fighting

If earning approximately the GDP of Wisconsin for spending an hour taking a mild beating from a defensive fighter whose hands are made from blown glass makes someone an idiot then sign me up. 

Floyd’s hands are made out of peanut brittle at this point; something tells me he isn’t going to be winging a lot of brutally hard head punches.

I’m pretty sure one can be had for much less than that. Because it was a fixture of high-school literature classes for so long, 1984 is a safe bet to show up in just about any used book store.

Attractive lies will always beat harsh truths.