Good God, Ian Somerhalder. Yes please.

Just a reminder - just because this woman has a beautiful body does not mean that you do not, or that you should feel any lesser about your own.

Well, if you'd actually took the time to read (hate or otherwise) the article, you would have known that the dress in question was likely not "more than [your] monthly income," because the costume designer explains that the material only cost about $3.99 a yard. And he made a few versions of it as well.

Hold on, you spoke to Adam Brody on the phone?!?! TELL ME MORE.

LOVE Anna Kendrick. But unfortunately, she'll never top what she did at the age of like, 17:

I personally think Anna Kendrick is mind-blowingly hot. Hotter than Kate Upton. Way hotter.

She's great in movies, too.

Oh, Madonna. Who is making your decisions for you?

Looks like Harry will be marrying into the Walton family. Coming soon a Walmart in every castle!

Fuck this. Fuck all of these posts. Fuck them all. Really, Jezebel? How many fucking posts do we need today about how Macklemore shouldn't have won, how KL is the shit and should have won, and how Macklemore only won because he is white?

No, Tracie, that's not why people called you and your colleagues 'mean girls'. They called you one bc you willingly paid TEN FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS to get unretouched photos for the sole purpose of trying to point out Lena's flaws under the guise of "critical discussion". And when Lena's "flaws" weren't as gossip…

Yes we are. This is the first time something like this has ever happened in history and now the entire world is spiraling downwards into a cesspool of wild violence and evil.

$2,500 for bail? *sigh* As is tradition.

Jeez. A mermaid tail. Sorry spellers!

Coco Rocha is fucking perfect.

You need to change your username to Stevewellinformedandpossessinggoodsocialskills. Stevewiapgss is also acceptable.

Oh well, if you don't know who he is, then I guess definitely no one should care! Nice to have that settled.

I realize this is no laughing matter and things will probably end very poorly for the Biebs, but I read this and pictured him as some sort of droopy-pantsed Canadian sprite*, skipping merrily through his gaudy house, sprinkling weed and codeine everywhere.

Well, it shouldn't be too hard to stop him - Lynchburg is in a dry county (yes, really). The only alcohol you can buy there is the Jack Daniels commemorative bottles, which you can have signed by their master brewer. That being said, you can get a little tipsy if you lean over the fermenting vats on the tour.

Go down to eastern North Carolina around Thanksgiving. Drive around rural roads looking for a house with a whole lot of cars parked outside. If the family is that big, they might not notice that no one knows you. If you're lucky, you'll end up at a family like mine, where we set out Thanksgiving lunch buffet style,…