Yo

Magnets? Those things are magic. How do they even work? 

I’m sure Chris Brown is a perfectly pleasant guy. Of course, that’s assuming you don’t mouth off or agree to have sex with him on demand. I’m just saying, as long as you walk on eggshells around him 24/7, Chris Brown is a prince. 

If Tarantino hates that people love Cap and Thor more than the actors playing them, USA’s “Characters Welcome” era most have drove him nuts.

Ugh, Blackbird is such a boring song. But at least it’s not an assault on my ears like “Honey Pie” is.

Foot fetishist freely flings falsehoods!

Peace and love, peace and love. 

Yeah, I have no interest in the movie. Nothing personal really, I’m just only interested in Olivia Wilde joints.

And yet Keanu Reeves still walks the Earth, having adventures and helping out people in need. 

Let me guess: Taylor Swift won every award that mattered for her brave, nuanced rehashing of the same crap she always does. 

I wonder what people did for fun before they invented television. In 1989. Apparently. 

I enjoy the White Album. I mean, yeah, it's their least cohesive work, but there are just so many good songs. 

Wait, are you insinuating there are non-American, possibly foreign countries out there? And that they’re worthy of notice for their cultural contributions?

Dracula is relentless. He does not relent. 

I see it.

Is it, though?