Even if she effed up cleaning out my colostomy bag and gagged the whole time, she'd still be a cutie patootie. 

Conversely, Elon Musk watched Squid Game and thought, this would be super fun to do to people in real life. 

Anna Faris is physically incapable of being grating. Does not compute. 

Wait, so this is reporting from the AV Club... about an interview on the AV Club?

You’d think as a victim of fictional gun violence, Drake would be more understanding.

Hey, The Dot is a perfectly acceptable hangout. Is it as cool as the restaurant from Saved By The Bell? No. It's cooler. 

Twitter...you must mean stately Musk Manor.

I like thinking how we’re all really made of exploding stars. In the end, we’re just cosmic dust. And that’s okay. 

I was talking about Gillian Jacobs! 

I can just imagine Musk’s lawyers telling him about the WARN Act, and Musk making the jerkoff motion. Asswipe. 

Oh, I'm embarrassed for him. That's like cringe-level cringe right there. 

Which, in the Year of our Lord 2022, is a good thing. Welcome to the Gilded Age 2.0. 

Enjoy the inevitable employment lawsuits, you Randian Tony Stark wannabe dick. I hope the State of California nails this asshole to the wall. 

Wait, what is this "cancel culture" to which you refer? 

Even that’s awesome because it’s like...why did anyone think this was something someone wanted to see? Canadians. They're just like us, only not. 

Maybe we can set the next Degrassi on a space station—

Degrassi junior highhhhhhhhhh

But being deprived of a chance to see Spinner kicking everyone's ass again fills me with ANGER

You know Picard and Riker tag teamed Minuet. You can read about it in my 43 part fanfic on AO3. 

The episode where Picard got stabbed by a kid from Lakehurst and had to get an artificial heart changed my life.