Timothy Olyphant is sexier than George Clooney. And I say that as a heterosexual man confident in his...heterosexuology.

Go on. 

Ten years later, Louis CK is in disgrace, absolutely no one talks about his show anymore, and there’s going to be a Community movie. On Peacock. Which is a thing.

Jesus I'm an idiot. Blaming the fever 

Thankfully ineligible.

“Billionaire Playboy Elon Musk made headlines this week, but not the good kind, like you want.”

*Olivia Wilde angrily tweets DWD drama*

RIP

And their mouthy children, apparently. How hard is it to just keep your hands off people especially people you love? 

I’ve been going “Yabba Dabba Doo!” every time I...you know for years now. I’m only on wife #17.

When my kid was 5 she clumsily articulated Nietzche's Eternal Return idea, which still fucks me up. 

Just a note to any aging comedy legends: if you attempt to dangle my child over a trash can, I will kick your ass. Move your feet, lose your seat, bitch. That's been a rule since caveman times. 

He’s cool, but rude. Gimme a break!

Yeah, I could see her feeling at home on Broadway, as opposed to slumming it on some network show. 

Are we sure this isn’t one of those hostage videos type situations? You know, a “Lea Michele is so nice and she would never hurt us especially if you wire five billion US dollars into her Swiss bank accounts please hurry” kind of thing?

Now that was sublime. 

There you go again, trying to be everything to everyone. Father of mine, I  will buy you a garden where your flowers can bloom.

More of a comment on our society's tendency to believe and listen to women unless we really like the accuser. Not my personal mantra, personally 

I'll spend the day counting crows. 

I think Wilde was expecting the film to be a critical darling a la her last film. It very clearly isn’t. She can’t seem to let it go, so trying desperately to attach cultural relevance to the movie just comes off...weird. She really just has to move on. I mean, Led Zeppelin didn’t write tunes everybody liked. They…