I don't understand the idea behind preserving Trump's tweets for public value or whatever. Twitter should ban him for TOS violations, full stop. It's not like the President is lacking for communications outlets. 

If I had a nickel for every time I've heard someone say "but ALL lives matter!" like they're hitting on some kind of huge moral epiphany, I'd have eight nickels! 

You know who had an arc?

It's among my biggest fears for my kid when she gets older. 

OMG, JIM SPANFELLER?! 

Punky Brewster’s giant breasts?

You best believe Cherie changed her ways after that. No more hard alcohol or bong rips. 

Was it not Khan Noonien Singh who said, "better to reign in hell than serve in heaven?" 

Jesus is fucking metal, dude. You ever seen a crucifixion? Metal. 

I only summon Crom when I have an insect infestation. That’s when the ravenous man spiders come in handy. Don’t push against the current, my man. Go with the flow.

Metal would have been fucking girl Satan with a giant horned dick, ripping Hitler’s head and balls off, and riding a hell demon back to the world of the living. Deciding to give up gluttony because the Devil turned you into a Star Wars alien is...easy listening at best. 

May your cat RIP (Rest in Power).

I feel like this happened on Metalocalypse, too. 

Listen you green-blooded son of a bitch, Jim Spanfeller and other men like him built this great nation. Without venture capitalists like him, how would people ruin perfectly good websites? 

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As a Bills fan, I just have to say one thing:

If I could laugh like Nelson Muntz here, I would.

Where's the Taco Bell bell when you need it? 

Allison Tolman needs to reinvent herself Chiklis-style, move to basic cable, and knock out something gritty. It's the only way