Sell this in the states and I will buy it.

My penchant to sleep diagonally with my foot hanging off of one side and hand off the other will never accommodate anyone else. It occasionally annoys the dog.

I would go from pale to burned and eventually back to pale. My melanine hides from the sun.

If I went to Texas and probed a random woman's ass and vagina I would receive a rather harsh sentence. I want these individuals to receive at least that punishment.

That is going to lead to chafing.

I do the same thing, only replace the green thing with my cupped hand (which is free.) My dog seems fine with it.

I sold my GTI for an MR2. I loved it. Then I traded it in on a SE-R.

Dat sumbitch is loooong.

Mail theft and insulting the elderly (the only people who still watch the local news) may have been bigger factors than letting the girls go free range.

In her defense, Maureen Dowd writes a lot of stupid shit.

Will a 7.3l diesel fit under the hood? I want a Lincoln that can pull schools off their foundations.

I vote REPU

Enjoy prison young man. If not over this, something will come along.

Keep working at it. You'll get there.

When they create recreational suppositories I'll stop abusing perscription drugs.

My experience is that toking has as many calories as a bag of these.

fitting a helmet on a fetus before aborting sounds terribly invasive.

I disagree.

Dark red hair on head (almost brown) with a very red beard. This is excluding the ever expanding white chin and temples.

Nope, no beard for you. I know the grass always seems greener on the other side, but you will never have to groom back hair (let alone the full carpet I can muster if so inclined.) feel lucky.