Anything for the Selenas!

So it’s like CrossFit,but for food...

You have it wrong. People actually doing a proper keto diet don’t talk about it. It’s those fad dieters that say they’re doing keto while they sneak in a cookie from the break room who won’t shut up about it.

Ah hah, but you’re not seeing the golden opportunity, friend! When someone brags to you about their keto diet, be sure to comment back that their crotch must be extra smelly! I guarantee you they won’t speak to you again.

“I’m a vegan keto crossfitter.”

The first rule of keto diet: You *must* talk about the keto diet. 

And a couple beers, full beers, like a 200 cal IPA, not that light beer crap

Praise be to thee! Bread or Die!

That’s great that your bloodwork is stellar, I eat anything and everything and mine is stellar as well.

You can have my carbs when you pry them from my cold, dead, un-smelly crotch.

You can pry my bread and tortillas from my cold dead hands. Bury me in burritos.

Someone really needs to tell Walker that taking an already born baby home and aborting it is, in legal jargon, a practice known as murder and it is already illegal in all 50 states.

Perfect to wear to work! (If currently employed as a circus bear.)

Got it. I guess I’m the opposite. I’m willing to pay but want extra for diet/health reasons.

It’s been a couple of decades since I’ve worked in food service, but is this any different from the experiences of every other food service worker?

Sex work should be decriminalized, so as not to punish sex workers. Sex work should be regulated, in an effort to protect sex workers. But sex work should also be understood epidemiologically and historically as an overwhelmingly female occupation because of the inherent imbalances of the sexes that the spectrum of…

McConnell will be remembered in history as the final nail in American democracy. He is the reason our country has become ungovernable. He is the reason we are doomed to fascism. 

Yeah, it would be really nice for loose skin & stretch marks to be accepted even if they didn’t come from having a baby.

This reminds me of a photo project someone did of taking photos of mothers very soon after birth. Let me see if I can go find it:

Same here. High-five?