You know there was a serious contemplation of “how much boob?” when they were getting ready to put the tape on.

I feel like, if you are going to write a fake memoir- fucking GO for it. Tell the world about how you trained with NASA for a manned Mars mission but had to leave the team after you injured yourself saving a baby from, like a radioactive alligator. You know, awesomely fake and not fake and racist

I imagine it’s part of a narcissistic worldview where they can’t conceive of any situation where they’re not the center of the universe. Either that or it’s relentlessly cynical self promotion. Get your “brand” out there by whatever means necessary. *gag*

I thought it meant hair that played a harp.

“... or beef jerky in a ballgown.” such a beautiful simile.

like honestly titus gets me

HE AND MIKEY ARE PERFECT GET MARRIED NOW MIKEY IS A FLAWLESS MAN

You must be pretty upset about the zoodle trend.

The “I’ve decided to live as a werewolf” story arc is one of the most wonderful things to ever happen in any sitcom.

My name is Tituss Burgess. Im an Emmy Nominated Actor for Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt currently streaming on netflix.

Hey now!

“Whoever decided that squash can pass for spaghetti can eat a dick.” -Pam Poovey

People who try to argue you into liking something you don’t confound me. There’s literally nothing more subjective than what one individual thinks is delicious or not delicious.

Spaghetti squash sucks. This coming from someone who eats heaps of vegetables daily. “Oh! But you’d love it the way *I* make it!” Is it still spaghetti squash? Then no. I will not like how you prepare your paper Easter basket grass, either.

I like mine on a tortilla. With sour cream and some sort of spiced meat and some grated cheese and a pile of cilantro. Maybe some refried beans if I’m feeling crazy.

Recently one of our local media outlets decided to shut down its commenting system. There was no commenting community on that site—it was just a bridge with swaths of trolls swarming underneath (probably more than a few people with multiple accounts.)

Thank you for being clear in what actually happened. I found out what happened early Saturday morning and the way the story is being covered by many outlets today is incredibly misleading and clearly click bait. I’ve always known I shouldn’t read comments but these articles have really brought that point home. I…

Martha sounds like she is starting the first Hunger Games competition. "One will die, the other will choose the next fine china dining pattern"

Been there, and how sick is that? Considering hurting yourself to get a needed break? And I bet we’re not the only ones.

I have actually considered hurting myself somehow to get a break from work.