“Just to clear things up, I would never call that motherfucker a motherfucker.”

As someone who says “motherfucker” a lot, trust me: That motherfucker says “motherfucker” all the time.

I have a horrible weakness for loud cats. My parents were probably sad I taught my cats that yowling = attention, because as a kid I just loved hearing them make sounds.

You speak nothing but truth.

Her followup is most excellent:

Even though they’re cute, kittens are just assholes in training. 

Cards on the due date? That has to be upsetting.  I’m sure they thought they were being nice, but it just seems like an unecessary reminder of what happened.

What if your WHOLE job is just box 3? Asking for a friend.

I am an American living abroad with my spouse and our minor children. We recently had to renew the children’s passports, and ALL of us were required to appear IN PERSON at the nearest consulate, at an appointment we scheduled several weeks in advance (which could only take place on a weekday between 9 am and 11:30…

“I wish he could have lived long enough to see a Bills championship”

How on earth can you say five-year-old foreign national who doesn’t even speak English can give informed consent? By their logic American kindergartners should be able to apply for passports.

Where/when in this country do we ever allow someone under the age of 18 to sign a legal and binding contract??  Much less a five year old.  This is beyond ridiculous.

Well, there’s a big difference between “Anybody CAN do this” and “Anybody WILL do this.”

What this all comes down to: a miscarriage is no different from a dead child. What people don’t understand - and frankly, I didn’t either till I had a kid - is that kids are born with fully formed personalities that develop long before birth. When you’re pregnant you start to get a sense of the kid’s personality, of…

Spotify list is missing a song:

This bullshit is definitely what’s finally going to save the DC movie universe.

I can’t stand people who go to live shows and yell shit out for the performers to do. That’s not how art or performance works. Do they go to a museum and yell at the curators to hang different art?

I like him a lot because he seems like an intelligent, rational, yet still wildly funny and interesting full-grown adult. Rare commodity these days.

#yesnuts

No it is not a degree of semantics.   George Washington was the first President of the United States.  Period, end of story.   Every governmental body agrees with me.  Every serious historian agrees with me.    So why try to be cute in an article about chocolate chips and claim (even obliquely) that said truth is a…