Colin Kaepernick doesn’t have a job because he won’t stand.

Side note: one of my favorite things to see in sports is the pitcher who doesn’t even bother to turn around after giving up a giant dong.

Another one! man, like clockwork. Does the invisible hand of the market jerk you off, or?

Kenny Sack and Mickey Axelband? Are these real names, or mobster nicks?

So who missed the key hearings and filings, the attorney or the client? If it was the attorney, he should be sued for malpractice. And if it is the client, the attorney should still be sued for malpractice.

To be fair, those stigmata wounds in his hands open easily.

Ugh, Dad, go back and wait in the car. I told you I’d be out in a minute.

“uh something happened, non-contact, everyone started throwing up, and now his leg doesn’t work”

What a dummy. Everyone knows its the Heat.

Greg Oden is the mascot in Toronto now? Since when?

NFL Quarterbacks: Bonus, please.

Don’t worry, since this is Atlanta the stands will be empty in no time.

*crying Indian from that one commercial, but he’s wearing a colorful sombrero*

The only thing that needs to be said about Rose:

Hey Burneko, you’re 100% correct but shut the fuck up dude. We’re trying to ditch Derek Rose here.

Some team will probably trade for him. A lot of us might see that as a bad team getting taken advantage of by an aging star with faint glimmers of hope, but Derrick Rose sees it as consensual.

It’s been quite the week for Shaw, who launched his own chili sauce—named “Wayne Shaw’s Heat Up The Arse’n ’Alls”...

It’s the bookmaker’s fault for laying odds on something so stupid as a fat man eating a pie.

Hopefully when he’s ready to retire at 50 we can get him over to MLS