They’ll confirm him. They’re pussies. Also, there are midterm elections in two years and there are democratic senators in red states like Montana, North Dakota, Indiana, Missouri, as well as swing states like Florida, Ohio, Virginia and West Virginia. They’re going to play ball. And the plan isn’t even going to work.…

Mitch McConnell makes a mockery of decency, fair play and the United States Constitution. And, of course, soup.

Oddly, from all of that bullshit, this is my favourite part:

I love how the four “museum” black people he mentioned are the examples a 3rd grader could give of black history: MLK, Frederick Douglass, Harriet Tubman, and Rosa Parks.

I love the massive aside in a speech about African Americans dedicated to attacking a cable news network while fellating another cable news network.

After the way the Trump Administration bungled the Holocaust Remembrance Day remarks, I fully expect his Black History Month remarks to focus on how everybody suffered during slavery, and we should also remember the slaveholders, who lost a lot of wealth when their property was emancipated.

Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job....

I mean, seriously, why did they even need a poet for the inauguration?

James! Brother, I am sure glad you’re still with us. That sounds like hell on earth.

James - That sounds like a nightmare.

You had so many good headline options, Samer.

I’m investing my money into the only thing that has been scientifically proven to create happiness:

Oooo...a rare Greg Kinnear gif...

Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice. Know a guy, just sayin

If you’re single in your system (or married and your combined income with no kids is, say $40K), then you’ll be paying a grand in taxes. Ask any couple making $40K if they can handle a thousand dollars disappearing.