Kudos to Cabrera. I can hit for power. I can hit for average. I have speed, and a good glove. I can hit the curve and the slider. What keeps me out of the major leagues is my inability to remember which handshake I have to do with each teammate. I just can’t keep it straight.

I was living with a boyfriend and we’d been together almost 3 years and he woke up one morning and said he had a saucy dream about some girl he worked with and it was so real that he had to go and ask her out because he felt like it was Fate. He gave me a week to pack up and leave our house, which I did and I told him…

If you’re still young enough to give a shit about strip clubs, you’re too young to be getting married.

OK, cards on the table time: I did that once. Wanted to see what all the hubbub was about...but didn’t want to shave my legs...it was like I was wearing a speedo made of skin over a Chewbacca costume...

A married couple we know recently got pregnant, and sent my wife and me an online survey to rank potential baby names.

I think he’s the greatest, but my dad says he doesn’t work hard enough on defense.

I thought he graduated with THE degree in bachelors.

Not even the third month over, huh? Well played, 2016, well played. Point taken, now ease up on us.

Isn’t all coverage of the Stars “stellar”?