I’ve become a huge fan of the Glamorise Double-Layer—doesn’t choke you like *actually* wearing double layers does, but gives you that little bit extra motion control that’s totally clutch.

And with that, your transformation into a Foxworthy punchline is complete. Thank you for your time and attention, goodsir, and I’m sure you’ll be wanted for the local news. Make sure you mention that the tornado sounded like a train.

I hate her.

Ohhhh, god, this makes me nuts. This lady is making my life harder, just by knowing she exists.

THIS. The more ridiculous the neon, the better.

I had to reply, not because I had anything even remotely helpful to add, but just to do some sort of fist bump/high five/applause/weary nod thing.

I wish the MTA would do this. I am more paranoid about those machines than anywhere else.

Now I have this bizarre desire to go to Subway, ask for the olives 1x, 2x, then shake my head sadly, plunk a Can O' Olives down on the counter and say, "y'know, just use this."

Oh thank god.

These, and the LDS commercials that would say, “But what about the OTHER places Jesus visited?”

ATL was the first airport I ever experienced, so it makes perfect sense to me. Now I’m regularly in and out of JFK/LGA/LAX, and by far hate LAX the most out of all of them. JFK security lines are a nightmare, but the facility is nicer. LGA shows its age (the part where you have to check your bags, then wheel them over…

Am I crazy (probably) or does she have kind of a Drew Barrymore thing going on here?

Thanks!

Excellent! I shall wear my favorite hat.

If you take slavery out of the antebellum south, the culture does not amount to a hill of beans; clothing that is meant to keep women down, some nice old houses, and a bunch of entitled fucking frat brats

We're friends forever now.

That's because this is one of the Five Great Comics in the world.

Here is my sincere question—

How Sweet It Is!

Well said!