"Flashman stared at Mega Man under the cold blue light of his icy fortress. 'I wish I could make this moment last forever,' he gasped. 'Just let it then,' said Mega Man, 'and I'll show you why they call me Rock.'"

"As Master Higgins slowly removed his grass skirt, Princess Leillani became faint. She was ready, ready for Higgins to discover her adventure islands…"

There are actually five difficulty settings and you can mercifully change between them whenever you like, so it's pretty inviting. Better still: that recharging health BS isn't in this game. It's got health packs. Sweet, sweet health packs.

It's certainly hard to shake from your subconscious, that's for sure.

God there is a weirdly long discussion of cock rings amongst those guards…

"My Liz Lemon is all melted." That is officially my favorite Digest quote ever.

There is absolutely no competition in the category of worst tutorial. SSX Blur sits so far above the rest of gaming history in terms of raw educational badness, that it's almost shocking. For starters, the game exclusively uses awful, imprecise Wii motion controls for all tricks. The game forces you to play through a…

Ghaleon, hell yes.

Just when I think I've seen it all, there's a Hsu and Chan name drop in the comments. Time to bust out my old print issues.

I freaking love you guys.

This is Watchmen Babies-level bad adaptation work right here.

And I do it every damn time! Thanks for the spot, Throb.

I played XIII through to the end, but didn't get past the first 5 hours of XIII-2 because I found it so damn annoying. Honestly? I recommend playing Lightning Returns without playing either of the other games. It stands alone nicely.

I never had to grind once in the game, though I certainly would have had to if I wanted to tackle the optional secret dungeon and bosses in the end game. There are quests that ask you to gather items, but you can just get them by playing the game and picking them up as you go.

Very manageable. My clock read just over 28 hours by the end, but counting times I went back to earlier saves, I'd place that total closer to 32. It's long, but not insurmountably so.

I'm inclined to agree about Motomu Toriyama, Ghaleon. I detest the way he writes games. Final Fantasy X and the abomination that is The 3rd Birthday in particular. That said, I found Lightning Returns story very moving outside of the context of the larger series and the game capably stands apart from it.

Lightning Returns sort of strikes a balance between the two. You can never get lost time back, a la Persona 3/4, but you can also extend time indefinitely if you want. It's similar to Majora's insofar as there are many things that must be done in a specific order and at specific times of the day, sometimes multiple…

That is the question isn't: what's the point? Walking Dead is great, but that Telltale Experience model of storytelling just isn't a proven formula when it comes to telling a story that doesn't have the same stakes. I definitely played Walking Dead for the story, and that feeling of agency, the illusion that I was…

The best part about this video is knowing that Derrick had to spend hours upon hours getting good at NiGHTS to make it.

2014, HobbesMkii. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!