Remember.. he’s a “business man” (both of those words are debatable).. and as that, the idea of a agency that doesn’t GENERATE A SUBSTANTIAL PROFIT is just wrong.

Kate, I’m going to offer you +10 internets today. You’ve earned that having to review and write about this game. You’re a trooper and deserve a bonus. Tell your boss to take you out for ice cream or a nice coffee or something and throw in a little something, something in the ol’ paycheck. The Kotaku readers have…

I mean objectively you are wrong, but we all have diff opinions.

There’s potentially an alternate version of Grand Theft Auto where you decide not to be a criminal and become an accountant instead, but do you really want to play that?

Torch is Jalopnik’s resident Star Wars expert so we would absolutely get articles like that.

I wish I had a book that also worked as a response to questions. (Great book too!)

To us (Rey) the lightsaber is this huge link to the jedi and all of thier heroic history.

Hey man, we’re gonna walk around in a silly suit with a poster on our head. Wanna come?

A friend who was a SCOTUS clerk says that getting a reference to the Fairness In Hell Act into a decision is the Holy Grail of footnote ambitions. Nobody’s been able to pull it off yet.

For once I hope your investigation comes up dry, not because I don’t want harassment to be exposed but because I hope there isn’t any there to be exposed (but there definitely is and it makes me really sad just thinking about it).

Uncles second cousin moved to PPC in late ‘80s. His first letter was an ode to the regime in handwriting suspiciously unlike his and then total silence.

The last game already introduced the tech to hook a brain up to a mech, but this installation opens up the possibility of hooking up a head to a super soldier body.

The establishment of this head-in-jar technology and the introduction to “you know who” can only point to a single conclusion about the third game’s final boss and I can’t wait.

Boy do I have a game for you! It’s called Team Fortress 2 and for years has featured gaming’s premier hat-based economy.

Wyatt’s problems are much more...psychedelic in nature.

Whoever does the voice for BJ deserves an award. His little internal monologues are chilling, especially the opening hours of the game.

Wyatt’s story was by turns tragic, hysterical, concerning, heartbreaking, and beautiful. His monologue during the end credits was something truly special. I’m looking forward to making my second run with Fergus, though; I missed the Laserkraftwerk.

Can we talk about the ABOVE EXCELLENT VOICE ACTING IN THIS GAME PLS?

Right? I rolled my squeeky assed chair up behind 3 different guys and meleed them all... “Don’t turn around, normal noise back here!”

As someone in a wheelchair, I was pleasantly surprised to see BJ start off the game in one. My joy was a little blunted by the mechanics of the chair itself, which were (let’s just say) less than realistic. If I could find a magic chair that handles obstacles like his does, I’d be a very happy man.