"You get to beleive what silly nonsense you want up until the second you impose on anyone else" is more than good enough.

This is going to make a hell of a college application essay.

With regards to Islam and Judaism? Oh ho ho. Child, please.

"Soft bigotry of low expectations" is the phrase, I believe. :)

"Is it metal for none of you to care at all?"

Seriously, Connie Britton is one of the most gorgeous women on the planet. I almost said something stupid like "for her age" before remembering she's only in her early 40s. But something tells me she isn't going to look any different when she's in her early 50s. THAT HAIR. I understand why the football team were…

You mean to say that the son of a reactionary and unhinged career politician is an entitled douchebag who hates it when people scrutinize the things he does?

Dude, what is going on with Natalie Portman's mouth in the original poster? Methinks the incestuous Thor and Loki poster is far less weird to look at.

I feel like Grumpy Cat would make an excellent Cruella de Ville.

Go back to Dogs of Instagram. We don't NEED your kind here.

"I pushed Jasmine off the carpet.

Someone with posting privileges has to follow you for Jezebel. You'll get a notification that says "Jezebel is now following you" or something. That means you're ungreyed.

More like Blow and E's.

Nope! Someone needs to write for the slower people among us.

Haha. In her own mind, Cat Marnell is a unique snowflake. It's like she saw Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and thought "I can do that" and developed the drug habit with none of the talent.

As a comment I read on Gawker forever ago said so painfully accurately, if the most interesting thing about you is your drug problem, you are really fucking boring.

Simon & Schuster doesn’t know that’s what they’re about to be handed.

Inside sources are saying that Kim's lost all of her autonomy

Not trying to hide! I deleted my Twitter that was tied to the "ihateemo" account, and I'm permanently avoiding the social aspect of the site. Just want to post pithy comments on the main page to kill time from now on. :)

I would have had so much more respect for her if she'd just adopted the nickname "The Beast" and, ahem, ran with it.