I hope getting rid of him will make 2020 a little more bearable.

Yeah, he didn’t care enough to contact me in the past 8 years, I don’t need to see his lame Spanish country side picture. He has nothing to offer except painful memories.

Thanks, especially for the song, it’s one of my favorite showtunes.

Thanks. I guess I should block. He’d probably wouldn’t notice it at first.

Hello everyone, here for advice again.

Apologies for responding so late. It is a problem of mine, to wonder what I did to deserve this kind of treatment and I guess he did took advantage of this. Everytime I got upset when he pulled some sexist crap, he would accuse me of responding disproportionately. He would never address his own behavior or acknowledge…

Thank you, I’m definitely reading Shahida Arab.

Thank you, this echoes what a friend told me, that my ex failed to understand me, probably because he didn’t care to.

I’m not sure he’s that far gone yet. Although I can imagine him becoming more entrenched in this white nationalism. I wonder what he thought of my friends and family members, a lot of them are darker skinned.

Thanks again, I cry just reading your words. He’s Italian and he has the benefit of this Italian fiction (like all national identities are) of this fixed identity. Falling in love with him was like falling in love with something greater to aspire or belong to. I was very grateful to learn all these things, but also…

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I was already a bit damaged when I met him, and I think his fetish touched a particular nerve. I’m very mixed, originally from the Caribbean, but somehow my Asian ancestry is very pronounced. I even have the Asian flush syndrome. But I never belonged anywhere, not back…

I’m starting to think I saw more in him than was actually there. He is also simple. It seems his persona was a lot more calculated than I realized. He will appropriate and borrow from others to appear more cultivated and interesting. I wanted to read ‘Infinite Jest’ together (I was unaware of its bro-status, since I…

I worry because I called out his asian fetish, this might have emboldened him to seek out an asian gf. And she turned out to be everything he wanted, which convinced him that his mindset was correct. It really triggered this wave of self doubt in me. I don’t have a comfortable relationship with my identity, because…

Thanks. It’s scary to realize that all the signs were there, but I’m still dumbfounded with each new revelation. I really thought he was a much more open minded person, but I guess this was a charade.

Hello everyone, long time lurker, first time poster.