Well, irregardless he’s a heck of a sports guy.

For all intensive purposes, I would say at least 10.

You should have waited an hour and posted this at 4:20.

Our hospitality bowling league team name was “bowling for Christ”. Team name was on The from of shirt. People would see that and think oh that’s nice. Back of shirts was Jesus on the cross with a beer in one hand, bowling ball in the other. Blunt in mouth. “He died for our pins” underneath. It really did offend. All…

You missed an opportunity to call the LV Cracker’s stadium “The Barrel” and have a sponsorship deal with Cracker Barrel.

If the Blazers did indeed win the equivalent of hitting the lottery by not signing parsons, they then also did the equivalent of blowing their winnings in Vegas by signing Evan Turner.

It’s hard to offend white people with names or caricatures. No one is offended by the “Fightin’ Irish”. Fans would probably love shirts that said “Las Vegas Honkeys” or “Los Angeles Crackers”.

“Dang, I wish Deadspin would write more stories about the Bulls.”

“That case went a long way toward ruining her life,” Tyson said, explaining how the elderly woman never escaped the case’s notoriety.

I can’t tell you how many times post-breakup I’ve writhed on my bed and scratched at my headboard in my lingerie and trenchcoat.

Not enough cowbell, either...

I ref squirt and peewee leagues. ($36 per game). Even 10-year-old defensemen get salty. I gave a misconduct to a kid for calling me a “fucking asshole” when I caught him buttending an opponent on a faceoff. Since these kids can’t and shouldn’t drop the gloves, you have to drop the hammer. I gave him a major penalty…

And then you are free.

“You do that, you go to the box, you know.

That would be awesome. Stop being bros and flooding the field to look at each in a mean way. 

“Dude, punch LeBron’s nuts next time. They are way more forgiving, and you miss only one game instead of two months.”

We’ll clap. WE’LL CLAP ALL THE TIME

That would be the gift we all need right now.

I would pay some of my hard-earned money to hear that said at a presser in a British accent.

Primeminister May is currently visiting.