OF COURSE the lacrosse goal was scored by someone named Keeghan. 

Pffft. Big deal. Lots of people are capable of doing jaw dropping stuff in the presence of Boldin.

Just glancing at the headline I thought it called Davis a ‘true restaurant man’ which, honestly, could work too.

Must be Forest Whitaker’s cat.

“Now I know how Rosa Parks felt!”

-Jerry Jones

Like my parents always told me, dumping garbage in the desert is a victimless crime.

Proof that he’s worth a shit.

Both the noun and verb forms apply

It’s fitting that a local Jacksonville publication would be named Void, a not-so-uncommon term for taking a shit.

You could say he looks a little annoyed, right?

That must have been the Wesley Snipes of white women.

I hear the Wu-Tang auction was a bidding war between him and Lochte.

Stallings looks like an off-brand Boeheim.

That picture looks like a Snapchat filter that makes your head big and face tiny.

Using his right even though he’s left handed. Some call it ‘Stranger in the Night’, some call it the ‘Hand of God.” I’m pretty sure Maradona invented it.

What a jerk!

Aldon Smith never misses a chance to make an impression on people.

The assistant coach had to get burned pretty badly because you know that shit was piping hot.

“Denali? Sounds like a shit hole. Where is that country? Africa? The one with the pirates.”