“Would you rather be on the Jets or get hit by a bus?”

“Both.”

The three greatest drunk drivers of all time: Dylan, Dylan and Dylan.

Pictured: Fat Markelle Fultz

This is a nice change of pace for the sport; Less flipping and flopping, more flogging and flagging.

Good instincts:

I mean, it’s pretty obvious why they couldn’t hear the exchange.

“On the low end: ski-jumpers, who, let’s face it don’t do much more than fall off a hill. It also behooves them to be as light as possible, so that they can fall (sorry, “jump”) farther”

I’m sure someone more well versed in physics can correct me if I’m wrong, but this seem like a rather dubious assertion.

Weight to…

Linda Holliday. Elite MILF? Or just run-of-the-MILF?

Yeah after that setup Iwas very disappointed it was just a profile on a nobody.

I’m not sure about Denver. One time Iwas walking down the street there and I smelled marijuana.

“Objectively bad” in what way? That sounds pretty subjective since I think that shit is delicious.

Watching the team free skate I understood the accusations about his ass. His ass has an ass for God’s sake.

Send then to Guy Fieri’s house! He loves eggs!

I was 15 and I probably smoke more weed than 99% of the active weed smoking population and I remember it like it was yesterday.

Always root against someone named Brayden. Period.

I doubt he’s ever even been to Salt Lake City though.

Just when this shit is getting good?

Contrary to many opinions, Darrell Bevell says he is only a four-tool prospect.

I love Merlot!

-Emmet Smith