“I’m thankful I live in a country that values its independence and democracy and where no party would ever allow a foreign power to influence the will of the people for political gain... wait... shit, can I start over?”

Definitely not thankful for Obamacare here. My premiums have gone from under $200/month to almost $1000/month; with only a single insurer as an option in my county. and.... a $7500 deductible. So I basically can’t afford to use my healthcare.

I’d have gone with something like “I’m thankful for my family’s health ... and ObamaCare being in place to take care of it along with millions of other Americans.”

We would have also accepted “I’m thankful for term limits.”

“I’m thankful for Robert Mueller.”

That’s an F-15

How about the time a guy ‘found’ a nuclear fuel processing plant?

I’ve been all over Fort Ord, it’s full of false valleys and box canyons.

Flyin’ over the track gotta hurry an’ get on back

Thanks much for posting this. I had a beloved dog cross over a few days ago and I’m hoping the ‘sense of peace and rest’ part generally works a similar way with animals, or at least mammals, since I or any of the people he knew weren’t able to be with him in his final few hours, which has been more upsetting to me…

“so you might urinate, defecate, and possibly even ejaculate (but that’s rare)“

What you describe is called a death bed vision. Dr. Carla Wills-Brandon has written extensively on the phenomena, it’s actually a very well documented experience

Just heard Noob-noob backing you up - “Got-daaaayum!”

Being around the dying has its own set of weirdnesses for any of those who’ve had ‘visitations’ in dreams as people died. One in particular, some strange peaceful dream involving the sick person, to be dispelled by the phone ringing and waking me up- a nurse calling to tell me it was over.

Now you mention it...

I have a fainting disorder and some of the things I’ve experienced during episodes are similar to things people report as near-death experiences. I am obviously not dying, but my blood pressure crashes to the point where my brain might suffer oxygen deprivation for a few seconds.

Coming as you’re going? Sounds indecisive to me.

“Donald J. Trump—I am sure he has a wickedly awesome life hack.”

Donald J. Trump—I am sure he has a wickedly awesome life hack.

Ejaculate?! Wait a sec, how do I make sure that happens? Seems like that’s the way to go.