Is there an opening for a writer at Gawker Media? Because if there is, write to this person and offer them a position, stat. That Craigslist ad is classic snark.

Tonight I saying goodnight to my 9 year old in the top bunk while my 6 year old was asleep in the bottom bunk. And I was so overwhelmed with affection and I said, "I love my children so much; I am so lucky you are my children." And then she stood up so she could see if she could touch the glow-in-the-dark stickers on…

Haha. You should marry Google instead! (if that's legal in your state)

I found this one

Ah, come on, Mark is cool. I know the guinea pig onesie was a little off-putting but just him give a chance.

I hope her response was this: "You forgot 3). We date for a while, things seem like they're going great, we get married, buy a house and have kids. You lose your job and say you want to house-husband for a while, which is fine - I make enough for all of us if we're careful. But when I come home from work the house is…

Totally! That's actually a huge reason why I feel so much more at home on the west coast than the east coast. Sure, there is sarcasm and snark here, but so much earnestness and genuine kindness, too!

I'll admit, I have head lice right now. I am sitting at work as we speak trying not to scratch my head too much. You think it's embarrassing to get it as an adult because your kids brought it home from school? Well I don't have any fucking kids. I don't know where I got it (a hotel maybe? I've stayed in a lot of those…

well, that's encouraging. I look forward to a lifetime of waking up at 3 am thinking "FUCK I FORGOT HIS MAYO"

I actually am capable of lucid dreaming, and mostly stopped the dream by transferring the table to another server (boring, but mostly worked), the school dreams though, don't know if they ever stop!

Oh how I wish I can leave the greys.

It's been ten years for me, and I still have this nightmare where I have a 20 top of the mean moms from the private school I attended, and keep losing my uniform, dropping trays, and generally not being able to keep it together at all. Good times!

I used to work saute at an Italian restaraunt that would regularly host hundred top banquets (no set menu, separate checks, yay!) during normal service hours on fridays and saturdays, when you could expect to do 80-90 covers besides the banquet.

OMG, this is wonderful! I wish it for you also!

This is so true. Aside from the occasional batshit last-minute Xmas rush or Harry Potter book release, working in the bookstore was like a pleasant nap compared to serving.

Re: In The Weeds

I don't think people from any other profession—besides people working in an ER or a continuous war-zone—can understand this feeling. I've worked several types of jobs, and even at its most stressful, an office or retail emergency is nothing compared to the feeling of having 30 people at once rightfully…

"And I cry all night, do you wanna hold me, hold me tight?"

I saw him in concert last year and he is still so so hot.

To this day, I love John Taylor, who still has that amazingly wide smile. And I still drop what I'm doing if the Rio video comes on TV for any reason.

God, those cheekbones.