You know what I love? When autocorrect changes whatever the hell I am typing to a non-word. Like somehong! HOW IS THAT A CORRECTION?

I can safely tell you that A LOT of both teenage boys and girls DO idolize her. (And really don't think too much about Miley or Kendall-I bet my son does not even know who she IS-)

AS WELL AS DOMESTICATING HIM I TAUGHT HIM TO SWIM! NO MORE SINKING!.*AHHH...NOTHING*

I see big white chompers in the bumbles mouth? Maybe Hermey WAS a good dentist and they are dentures?

BUT...he has teeth...! I guess Hermey wasn't such a good dentist after all....

You forgot "You are straight, and so useless and lacking in confidence in bed you need "TIPS FOR DRIVING HIM CRAZY" and such tips involve stupid and ridiculously unoriginal things like whipped cream.

Nah, I dont! Sadly all the toxins are in my part of town too!

Yeah, so I am cheap, lazy, and mostly, I know my kid. There is every chance he will go through bleaching his dark hair and then hating the color he picked. Much easier to let him play around with the colors, and if he REALLY REALLY becomes committed to one when he is a bit older, he can do it himself.

Nah...I grew up in Virginia, lived in DC, Delaware, Maine...people (hippies) were ALWAYS talking about "toxins". Though it is funny that you mention it. In every state but California (but maybe it's because I live in LA.) All the "toxin" talk was done by stoner people at 3am about how GREAT it is to be stoned and how…

When I was in high school our local high school punk band was called ROADSIDE PETZ. I still think it is a hilariously great bad name for a punk band.

I know these teens. If you want to get them something they will use and you can afford, (And if they have parents like me who are too cheap to spend all that money letting them dye their hair) Get them these hair chalks. They will love you. http://www.amazon.com/Blendable-Past…

I have to say, I had an aunt I called my "literary Aunt" and she used to buy me books that were AMAZING but way over my head. And I LOVED it. She bought me the Alexandria Quartet by Durrell for my high school graduation. It is the only present I remember, and it has pride of place on my bookshelf all this many years…

And casting himself with ludicrously younger women

Only if you chased it with a shot.

There are some toxic PEOPLE, but really, not many more than I have encountered in most cities. But there is sure a lot of boTOX here.

THANK YOU. They see no irony in this, and it kills me. That is why one of the things I willbe shouting will be ""YOU CAN DRINK ALL THE JUICE YOU WANT, BUT IT WON'T GET RID OF THE "TOXINS" IN YOUR COLLAGEN STUFFED LIPS."

I hate you. I now want a lobster roll. They seem to never be giving anything good away at mine. Just more looney bullshit powders and mortgage priced drinks that -guess what- GET RID OF YOUR TOXINS.

I think part of it was that he was America's dad. I mean Polanski and Allen were both creepy to begin with in their own special ways.

OMG THEY ARE COOKIES WITH BITS OF CRYSTALLIZED GINGER IN THEM COVERED WITH DARK CHOCOLATE. I may or may not have eaten a box for dinner last night.

Let's join twitter and start a movement. Towonda the avenger against toxins!