How much money do you think Maru's owner makes off of him? Because I am wondering if adopting cats until I find one who has a niche talent/marketable habit is a new potential career path.

If you look at the bottom left when the guy gets out of his car, you can see that he shit his pants.

Let's see, originally posted by Michael Ballaban on Jalopnik, promoted by Jesus Diaz on Kinja and then shared by Gabrielle Bluestone on Gawker, that's a hell of a newes aggregation system. Pretty soon Gawker media will be up too 100% efficiency at recycling it's own posts. The only thing missing on the Gawker FP post…

I can't bring myself to finish reading this on the day Seamus Heaney died.

Oh,

And the joke made a soft whistling noise as it flew over your head.

I heard she wasn't going to file a lawsuit at all until a Concerned White Lady lawyer played by Jessica Chastain came in and solved *ALL* the problems for her.

ALL I WANT is some kind of marker that a person's gay. That's it. I mean, not in a Holocausty way — more in a "Ah-ha, would you like to watch a Sandra Bullock movie with me after eating some hummus" way.

KTVU reports that Fah Ling Splat was the first paramedic on the scene.

Are we still using terms like "the husband she stole" (emphasis mine)? Maybe it's time we got past the cliche of the evil Other Woman just stealing other women's innocent men, as opposed to the men being cheating dicks?

I need an extra-large handbag to store all of my shame. Don't forget the shame!

Well, obviously us fatties need big handbags, to carry all our Cheetos and ribs and milkshakes in! Oh and brownies! And all our not-exercising.

Oh no doubt about it this guy played UVA lacrosse.

Him: Will you be my lawfully wedded PR partner?

Can't wait for this dude to find out that her family probably hates Italians.

[removes human suit]

That's like threatening to fight every heterosexual at a Melissa Etheridge concert.

Yes. And you don't even have to burn easily to get it, it doesn't even have to come from a sunburn.

"Flight attendants have to learn hundreds of regulations and know the safety features of all of the aircraft in their airline’s fleet. They must know how to evacuate the plane on land or sea within 90 seconds; fight fires 35,000 feet in the air; keep a heart attack or stroke victim alive; calm an anxious, aggressive,…