Movie: The One

That's... the point of this whole article.

I'm getting married this weekend. You can bet that I proofread the shit out of that invitation. And then when I'd done I had my mother proof it. And then my daughter. She caught a misplaced apostrophe.

Anything Rob Liefeld drew/wrote for Marvel in 1992.

You don't realize how horrible 90% of cartoons are until you watch them as an adult. Popeye was full of violence and attempted rape. Tom & Jerry had murder. The Smurfs had a man who wanted to EAT the little blue buggers. Thank god for childhood innocence.

I totally get you. I guess I have an interesting perspective because I live in an upper middle class neighborhood that is on the outskirts of a low income area. So, if I shop within 10 minutes of my house in one direction, I see the crap produce and over abundance of junk. But 10 minutes in the other direction and…

Doesn't matter. Still a hard G. It isn't peanut butter.

Basic rule at my home is: You try the food FIRST.

Yeah, and jraphics. As in jraphics interchange formate.

I once was told this amazing story by a gentleman who had worked in the industry in New York in decades past. At one particular establishment, he served a lady an omelette. The customer in question requested ketchup, but the restaurant was a fancy shmancy French joint and didn't allow the stuff anywhere near the…

Uh...isn't fondant an entirely separate thing from frosting? Isn't fondant a solid and frosting is...not exactly?

I approve of mayo in all things, and I love me some ketchup mixed with mayo, so you're on your own here.

That's because that's how it's pronounced.

"..it's just not a part of my culinary agenda"

My very favorite thing in the world is to tell customers "no!" But if they don't want to serve ketchup they shouldn't have any in the restaurant. The chef can write all the obnoxious letters he wants, but they servers are the ones who will have to explain that shit to the customers.

First, they came for the ketchup and I didn't say anything because I don't eat ketchup...

I just went to check out their yelp reviews, which were mostly good with the bad reviews complaining about bad service.

SRSLY. It's "gif." If you wanted it pronounced "jif," find a j-word to start the acronym, douche-gif-inventor-guy.

Meh. Whatever. If you want ketchup, go to a different restaurant. I don't think you want this person handling your food anyway.

Right. If it's the kind of place that doesn't encouragement condiments and therefore doesn't stock them, fine don't offer it. I'll go to your chef-selected steakhouse and eat your bloody steak and love it. But if you have ketchup for kids already you can't suddenly got too snotty about the adults wanting it, too. …