Guys don't wear dick-shaped armor on their crotches, but we keep seeing women warriors in movies wearing breast-shaped armor on their chests. Brienne of Tarth wears a man's armor. So do real-life female warriors in the US armed forces—it's basically the same Kevlar armor the men wear, just sized down. That's because…

I'm so glad someone else knows about the Knight's Tale commentary. I listen to it while I wash dishes/clean house.

I can't speak for anyone else, but if I was fighting a woman I would definitely ONLY try to stab her directly in the nipple. Those are like an off switch on women, right?

I gave Troy a bit of a pass since there are historical records showing a war did take place and involved the players in the Illiad. I think there was enough going on in that movie that adding the bickering of the Olympians would have bogged the film down. I am sad we never got a Odysseus movie with Sean Bean. It might…

Not to outdo gingersnap's asshole snarkery, but I remember something about how Hercules's name in Greek "Heracles" could have been evidence that he was based on a real guy. Since his name includes the name of the goddess Hera, which was not a naming convention in Greek Mythology but was a naming convention for Greek…

If the movie was about Heracles, you'd be in good shape.

Nice completely unfounded condescending tone. Has just the right touch of pointless spite. *slow clap*

Also:

"the guy-who's-just-kind-of-an-extra-guy (Rufus Sewell, trying!)"

Well, of course it is. Nothing like a dead wife and kids to get a hero's Angst Points up! Also, I cannot believe it is 20-bleedin'-14* and we are still killing off female characters (children optional) to prove how dark our hero's past is and how troubled and wracked with manpain he is as a result.

Really? I took 3 years of Latin in high school, one year of ancient Greek in college as well as a Classical Greek art and architecture course and I even forget the Hercules/Heracles distinction a lot of the time. They sound and look very similar and in popular usage everyone always goes with Hercules. It's not the…

I bet you're a blast at parties.

Hercules = Roman name for Greek demi-god hero? Are you the demi-god of pretentious comment-thread snark?

Aside from the trailer being 'made-for-TV' level to the point where it screamed 'watch me for free', what kind of bothered me was that giant lion fight scene. In the trailer the editing made it seem like he killed it and used it's head for a hoodie. Yet clearly that lion was so massive that the head would cover half…

I thought Hercules was just the Roman name for Heracles? Didn't they just go Oh, these gods are good. better than the ones we've got. "Cause the Roman gods before that were kind of crap, you know – Jeff, the god of biscuits. And Simon, the god of hairdos. And uh, you know, they had the god of war, the god of thunder,…

um yeah, here in the 21st Century, we just combined them both to Hercules.

Except of course that 9/10 times they use Hercules' Roman name, while keeping everyone else's Greek. As they did in this film. And Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. And the Disney movie. So I'm not sure who didn't do their research here.

Nothing about this movie resembled 'gritty realism'. Everything resembled cheesiness. EVERYTHING.

Lindy, you've summed up perfectly the feelings of sadness i have about this movie. I read the review over at i09 and this gif pretty much covers how i felt before i read it and me afterwards