I’m totally cool lying to a foreign government, especially a corrupt one. His allegiance is to the stars and bars, not crooked ass Brazil. But, man, if it’s true he did it to keep his chick from finding out, that’s a bad look. There are levels of chick you obstruct justice over. Kate Upton, Emily Ratajkowski, Betty…

You should have seen the Netherlands do this same trick with two guys.

Hey, when you’re really stretching to be funny, why not ignore the facts?

They might have hard turf in North Dakota, but there’s a shortage of insanely fast, aggressive black dudes up there.

These things do happen. I feel horrible for everyone involved.

Yeah, but “borderline illegal shit” is also known as “legal shit”.