@MizJenkins: This is the strangest video I've ever seen. Is this the music that was playing? Why were those 10 year old boys trying to do the Kid n Play? Why were the girls all hugging constantly? Were they on ecstasy?

@TubOfTaft: I'm thinking they'll ask him if he saw mommy drinking from the bottle, and if he had ever seen mommy drinking from a bottle like that before. I hope they won't ask him to recall too many details of the crash, and honestly he was probably watching a DVD or something in back and didn't notice his mom was…

I am honestly not outraged that she drove drunk with her children in the car. I am outraged that she drove drunk with someone else's children in the car. I feel so horrible for her brother and sister-in-law.

@I, Zombie Normal: Haha. I'm imagining this all being said in Jon's version of Stewie's voice. Also, the best part about his diamond earrings is that they're honestly? Kinda small. (At least they were last time I looked.)

@morninggloria: Dude, you live in Wicker Park, right? You're lucky you ever get your mail at all. That post office is unreal.

The worst part about this is that I am so utterly clueless that I would purchase it because I like the pretty pewter color and carry it around for a few weeks until someone finally had the heart to tell me.

@Z und Vielpunkt's chick: I think that was just a rumor - probably an untrue one. The story was super-bizarre - that she would adopt dogs and then forget about them in closets until they died? She may be a stoner and annoying, but I doubt even Paris would do that.

@SeptemberDecemberDancer: Also, there wouldn't likely be any Episcopal priests in Ireland. They call 'em Anglican, at least in my experience.

@cheshirecounty: George Harrison would not wear lip gloss!

@GirlFailer: I don't believe for a minute that cost $325k. If she got absolutely GOUGED that little hut would cost like $100k to construct.

@CurtCole: I was thinking, "Uh, yeah, desperately sexy."

That picture of Jon on the cover of In Touch is amazing. He looks like a creepy ventriloquist dummy.

@justcallmeangel: They also list each woman's weight at the bottom of the screen while they're doing their confessional-style interviews. Both irrelevant and unnecessary.

@TheFormerJuneBronson: The main thing I remember is He-Man raising his sword in the air and saying "By the power of Grayskull!" I think my little brother did that ALOT.

@meritxell: OMG, Hilary failed the first time?!? That makes me feel so much better, you have no idea. I definitely have not completely blown off studying, but Wills are a mystery to me, and I can pretty much only tell you whether someone is an HDC and whether an instrument is negotiable in commercial paper. I'm also…

@Mellu: From a recluse: Always choose kissing the boy. You don't have to spend THAT much money, and once you find the boy you want to kiss forever, you'll miss all those summer nights going out to maybe kiss a boy. Have as many of them as you can!

@Renata Halpern: Gosh, I'm sorry. To be fair, though, I think that can happen with any profession. Remember that addiction to work is an addiction just like any other. It's not a matter of loving your family; it's an uncontrollable desire to work.

@Trulymadlyme:Iagree. Jury duty would be the funnest thing ever - and I'll never get to do it because I'll be a lawyer soon (hopefully). I worked in court everyday last year, and trust me, the funniest shit ever happens in court. Unbeatable entertainment.

@electricbubbles: I always hated that about college: that you couldn't do nothing on a Saturday or everyone mocked you. I remember inventing a paper to write once or twice.

Ladies, the Bar exam is Tuesday in most states. Please light a candle for those of us Jezzies who will be taking it. I, for one, need the candle.