“I wanna say ‘China’, but I don’t really mean ‘China.’ I just mean the places that Chinese people come from.”

“I wanna say ‘China’, but I don’t really mean ‘China.’ I just mean the places that Chinese people come from.”

“I wanna say ‘China’, but I don’t really mean ‘China.’ I just mean the places that Chinese people come from.”

“I wanna say ‘China’, but I don’t really mean ‘China.’ I just mean the places that Chinese people come from.”

“I wanna say ‘China’, but I don’t really mean ‘China.’ I just mean the places that Chinese people come from.”

and this is why i don’t pay more than $200 for a phone. i just “upgraded” to a beautiful verizon lg v40 for $104 and i can’t wait to pick up a phone with this chip in a few years. i fiinished rooting my v40 and i’m in the process of shutting off lg’s thermal throttling and by the time i’m done with it i will have used…

i’ve always thought it would be best to just abandon everything and start fresh somewhere else if things got that bad, but i recognize it’s not that simple. there’s much left to do: steal a ferrari and drive cross country smashing windows at every trump property........

i LOVE drinking the vinegar brine that comes in jars of yellow peppers as a mixer. it tastes great in vodka and tequila shots, anything tangy like a michelada, and it even makes red wine palatable.

only democrats get abortions. no respectable republican would ever be such a massively fucking dumb cunt and ever have one of those nasty abortions they hate so much. unless they do.

chuck can be the joe montana of golf, just like trump is known as the Pelé of golf.

mike pence doesn’t own a butt plug. mother does and she uses it on him.

i’m looking at the rest of you motherfuckers. i’m still using a galaxy note 4 and listening to mp3's from 2003.

my jeep zj is the bane of my existence and after years of fixing things that didn’t need fixing i diagnosed most of my problems to be because of the wiring harness to ECU. sometimes it’ll turn it off while driving or refuse to turn on but i found if i jam the harness in it’ll immediately turn on and stay on.

the first harry potter was probably just out on dvd and playing while i made out with a girl for the first time, that and a nicole kidman movie about a haunted house. i like those movies but not because i actually watched them. alls i remember is the dude that looked like trent reznor.

i love wonton soup, i love everything about it especially from my favorite place. i haven’t had it in 10+ years but i had a ritual when i ate it: squeeze like 4 lemon wedges in it while digging out every last piece of crab out the motherfucker. gross, it tastes like fish.

i am honestly curious. what are we talking? i read something about the price of having a search team to find a missing hiker and FUCK. A-THAT.