They get one tie and think they’re too good for him now.

So he would have been better off keeping the $2 billion and doing nothing with it?  I mean there are plenty of appropriate grievances to be aired towards Bezos.  Be better Hamno.  This is fucking weaksauce.  

No, it’s where you throw the duvet cover over your wife’s head, and fart.

Dammit, now I feel stupid (and contagious).

The Foo Fighters are actually really good at soccer.  Nate Mendel scored 3 goals, the last on a header off a corner kick.  Dave Grohl said it was the cleanest head shot he’d seen since ‘94.

+No No No

I like that America can both be the country where a woman gets death threats for dipping chicken into cola but also the country that invented deep fried battered cola. 

That’s not “hung over,” that’s “still going.”

The contrast between pro and college football coaches is striking. McVay can recall specific plays, but Art Briles can’t even remember the names of the players/sex offenders on his teams…

Me after reading this article (and not knowing much about NFL coaches):

We’re all just watching everything bounce past us

Harsh but true. Harden, Durant, and Russ weren’t the players are today, but it’s still mind boggling that the Thunder traded James Harden back in 2012 just because they refused to give him an extra $7M to meet his request of a non-max 4/$60M. (And because they were betting on Ibaka instead of him) Now they’ve got a…

There’s some harmony in your choices as PT-109 was sunk almost exactly halfway between Micronesia and the fictional location of Lilliput. 

I’m sure he will Command Prompt attention from any team in which he has an interest.

LeBron DOS what he wants.

I see you’re trying to woo a supermax free agent—I can help with that!

Minesweeper 

I have ZERO sympathy for most farmers.

In acting parlance this is known as a "double gesture," and it is considered bad form. Say it or show it. Doing both is redundant, hense, derp.